Count it all Joy

Sheridan and I got away for a week and went down to California, we had a wonderful time! While I missed my baby boy, quite honestly I am used to leaving him. I've done it every day since the day he was born. A week is a bit of a different story, although I did miss him like crazy I refused to let that consume my thoughts. I don't know when we'll have the chance again to get away just the 2 of us again so I wanted to soak it in and have fun! I've been to California a few times but this was my first time to Disneyland and California Adventure. Wow, it was just so much fun! 

Deklyn had a great week spending time with this Grandma's and nurses but the day we were heading home Deklyn was not himself, and when we got in at 3:30 in the morning to say a quick hi before we went to bed he was not looking so good. He was needing lots of oxygen with no clear reason why. The following days were the same with him needing lots of oxygen and extremely irritable. This was frustrating because exactly a month ago we were dealing with this exact issue and we were sent back to ICU. I was terrified and heart broken that we were in the same predicament as last time. Luckily though every day since has SLOWLY been getting better. He's still not exactly where I would like him but he's not doing as bad as he was. 

I felt like we were running in circles... and to top it all off we were being faced with some decisions we did and still don't want to make. Decisions for Deklyns future. We need to start thinking about taking him home, which is exciting but at the same time there are things we need to be able to take him home how he is now. One of the things needed how he is now is a new vehicle... Sheridan and I just bought a new vehicle in hopes that it would suit Deklyns needs but as far as we know right now it doesn't. Sheridan and I are standing in faith right now that we will not need a different vehicle, that either they will come up with a way for it to work in our vehicle or, as always, that he will be completely healed. Thanks for praying with us on this!

Joy.... this word has been on my heart for a few weeks now. Although Sheridan and I did get away for a little while and that was very nice, we've still been stressed beyond what anyone with healthy kids can imagine. Some days I've felt like the load on my heart could make it completely stop, but I know that is my fault. I've had trouble giving completely everything to God. I worry and stress about the future when I need to let tomorrow worry about itself.

 Count it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2-3

According to that verse I should be one joyful person and I've struggled with being joyful. I go to the grocery store, the mall or go on facebook and I hear people talking and complaining about their kids or about being pregnant...  please don't feel bad if you've done this I know with all my heart if everything had turned out normal for us I'd be saying the same things. But the more I'd hear people complain the more upset I'd become. I'd give anything to hear my baby scream as loud as he could, or have him through a tantrum in the middle of the store(One day I'll regret I said this when you all remind me I wanted this!!), or to spend the night trying to get my baby to sleep. I've come to the place where I know I just need to not let these things bother me any more because it is hurting me more than anyone else. Now in saying this, I know its not going to be that clear cut and I know its going to take a lot of training on my part to get my brain where I want it! My joy has been stolen and I am taking it back!

Were ready for change. We've been in this hospital far to long, and I'm so ready for a miracle that no one can explain expect by saying it was God. Get ready people! Its going to be good and its going to be soon! In Jesus name we will not need a new vehicle, we will not even need a special chair and a ventilator will not even enter our home. Deklyn is coming home soon! I've had far to many confirmations that this will happen, I know it will.

Thank you for continuing to believe with us and pray for us! We are claiming the healing God has for our son, get ready to see it!

Expecting Great Things

Taking off from my last post, the evening of the 23rd Deklyn was able to be weaned of the Nitric Oxide and in the afternoon of the 24th we were moved back into Deklyns big room! It was honestly a miracle they kept Deklyns room for him for that long, even though all the kids on that ward are there long term even if ones leaves for a few days they fill up the rooms pretty quick. I think they felt bad for us that we were moved to ICU just in time for his birthday, and the hospital usually clears out as much as they can to get kids home for christmas maybe they thought they could afford to hold his room for us. It would have been devastating for us to move out all our presents, christmas tree and all his clothes and toys just to be coming back in less than a week, so really it was so amazing they held the room for us and I am SO grateful they did!

We had a great Christmas eve, Christmas & new years together! Deklyn watched us closely as we opened his presents it was soo cute! Deklyn and Sheridan got me a very special gift this year. After all the presents were opened and I thought it was all done, Sheridan brought in a huge present that ended up being suitcases, when I opened them up it turned out to be a trip to California! Sheridan is amazing with always surprising me and doing special things like this (I am SO lucky!) Although I am going to miss my baby boy sooo much, I know its going to be so good for us to get away, relax and just have fun together! I am so looking forward to it, and I know Deklyn will be in great hands and of course it helps that I will get to buy him presents!

Thank you for all the prayers for our family to stay healthy! Although not everyone was feeling 100% we felt ok moving Deklyn into the room with everyone as long as the people who weren't feeling the best didn't touch him. It was so nice to have everyone in one room for the 2nd time since Deklyn was born, and for the 1st time Deklyn got to play with his cousin who is the closest in age to him, it was so nice! But now I am sick and have not spent a good amount of time with my son in a whole week! Its one of the hardest things I've done in awhile but I know its whats best for him. He just can not handle being sick, it wouldn't be worth it in the end!

Looking back at 2012, it was an incredibly hard year. Definitely the hardest year of my life. If I knew a few years ago this is what 2012 was going to look like for me, I would have said I couldn't do it. God has given me so much strength even when I felt like I couldn't go on. I am SUCH a home body... seriously... I love being with people but I'm one of those people that could be at home for a few weeks on end and be happy. This past year I spent less than 1 weeks amount of time at home and half of that time would have been sleeping. I never in a million years would have thought I could have been able to spend so much time away from home, but as any mom will tell you when you have a kid, wherever they are is your home. Sounds cheesy but it is oh so true!

We are believing for an incredible 2013 and I know Deklyn is going to see his home this year! Thank you all for the incredible support you've shown us in 2012. Really I never thought so many people would rally around us in our time of need, we are so grateful and amazed at the generosity of others. Really ever since we had Deklyn Sheridan and I have been talking about all things we want to do for others just to give back! We feel very undeserving and cant wait for our chance to return the favour! 

Thank you for continuing in believing with us for Deklyns complete healing, I know with out a doubt there will be a day where I get to lay Deklyn down in his crib at HOME, a day where I get to hear him cry, babble and giggle! I just know it. God loves Deklyn even more than I do and he has got an amazing plan for his life. He has reached more people in his 1 year of life than some people do in there entire life!

I read some verses that really spoke to me and I want to share them with you. I hope you are encouraged by them. 

Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the lord your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9

We ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed... We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 (This verse really describes our 2012, God has never abandoned us even when its felt like we were in a nightmare. He will never leave us!)

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

From Sheridan, Deklyn & I we wish you an amazing year! Some of you may have experienced a hard year like us, or maybe even worse. I challenge you to press in to God and see how he can turn things around. I promise you, you will not regret it. I know its not easy and its often the last thing we want to do in a hard situation. He will never let you down.