Hello Everyone! I have no idea if anyone even checks this blog anymore as I haven't posted in so long! Honestly I'd start to write and just couldn't finish or post because I didn't feel like what I was saying made any sense... It was so much easier writing and updating about Deklyn compared to now.. sharing how you feel is tough and not always very easy for me.
The past 2 years have been a whirlwind of almost every emotion possible. Since the last time I posted we've past Deklyn's 3rd birthday and 2 years since he passed away. These days just never get easier, maybe with time they will... but I honestly don't really expect them to and I maybe don't even want them to. These days are reasons to talk about Deklyn and to remember him and we have some pretty awesome family and friends that always do their best to make sure these days are not forgotten and are always special and we are SO grateful for these people in our lives.
Now along with not posting in so long I have another reason for writing this post. As I said the past 2 years has been filled with so many emotions and changes for us as a couple and family, and in 2015 we will actually be adding to our family! We are expecting our 2nd baby due in September and we couldn't be more excited and happy. I was pretty nervous about this news getting out as I wasn't sure how people would react as I knew most people would be completely shocked but we've had nothing but support and I so appreciate it!
Most people wonder what kind of emotions we felt in finding out we were expecting and honestly... we just agreed that no matter what we would be happy. If this baby had HPP or not, this baby would be loved and cared for just as much as we loved and cared for Deklyn.
We had an ultrasound around 12 weeks to see how the baby was doing and that day I was pretty nervous... although I was happy we were having a baby I knew this ultrasound would show us if we would be having a some what normal pregnancy/newborn stage or if we'd be going down a similar road to what we had with Deklyn. Either way I was going to be happy... but I knew I'd feel sad for the baby if it had HPP and of course it goes with out saying it would just be easier if there were no complications.
As we started the ultrasound we could see our beautiful baby's profile and then I saw what I had never seen on any ultrasound we had with Deklyn and that was long arms stretching out and long legs wiggling around. I instantly knew, this baby did not have HPP. Although at that ultrasound they could not tell us anything for sure they did say as of right now all looked good but we'd need to come back just to make sure. In their words, the baby could have a less severe form than Deklyn did.
So we went back 2 more times after that and we were told that they are 90% sure this baby does not have HPP. Which is a relief of course, but brings in a new set of worries... what is it going to be like being able to bring our baby home? Having to get up in the middle of the night to care for it? Having a normal newborn experience is not something we had with Deklyn.. so it'll bring some challenges and I'm sure some frustrations but we are so excited and feel so lucky that we get to go through a 'normal' pregnancy. I so look forward to doing all the things we felt we didn't get to do with Deklyn but I also know this new journey could make me miss Deklyn in a whole new way.
We have also been told that we are having another boy! So I am sure Deklyn is super excited to be getting a brother and we are so excited too! We know everyone is hoping that this little guy will have his brothers cheeks and we'll definitely try our best!
Like always, we'd like to thank everyone for the support and love! No matter what we go through whether its hard or exciting we always feel such amazing support and we couldn't be more grateful. We know although this time is so happy & exciting it will bring new challenges and things to work through but with our amazing God and all the loving people in our lives we'll make it through whatever life throws at us.
I'll leave you with a few picture of our newest baby boy expected early September!
