He is Here!

Well the last 2 weeks has been quite the change for us and our home.

On September 1st at 11:47am we welcomed our second son into our lives. I was scheduled for a c-section and he was supposed to be born around 8:30am but there ended up being an emergency c-section and someone else ahead of us so we finally went into the OR sometime after 11am. I was excited and nervous just as I'm sure any mom is before her baby is about to be born. I had wonderful staff looking after me and of course my amazing husband there to be my support (I can not say enough how incredible he is... he took such good care of me after surgery). As I lay there and Sheridan sat beside me we heard his beautiful cry and I couldn't help but cry too. It was so amazing to hear, I can count on one hand how many times I heard Deklyn's cry (if you can even really call it a cry, it was more like hearing his voice for a split second) so it felt very overwhelming to hear his cry and know he must be at least fairly healthy to have such a strong cry.

After sometime I finally got hold him while I was in recovery... what a feeling... to hold him when he was under an hour old. He was so peaceful and so incredibly cute. I honestly can't put into words what it is like to have a healthy child after a child who was so sick. I feel like I am living a dream, an amazing dream. I love everything about being this boys mom, and I honestly mean everything. I know that will probably change and getting up in the middle of the night will get old.... it probably helps that he's one of the best babies. He hardly ever cries and at the moment is letting us get a good amount of sleep. I took him for a walk today and I just felt so happy... this is what I've always wanted to do and I feel so blessed and so lucky to be doing this. Being a mom has been the most rewarding thing I've done in my life. Both my boys have been extremely different situations but both rewarding, incredible and both have made me grow and learn in different ways.

I was very prepared for bringing him home to be tough.. we are so used to it just being us and doing whatever we wanted on our own time. But when Sheridan and I got home from the hospital with our beautiful little boy we looked at each other and couldn't believe how right it felt. We didn't have anxiety, we weren't scared... we just felt so much joy and peace. Of course I know it won't be easy, and so far he honestly has been such a great baby, we can not complain. I did have a bit of guilt coming home though... this baby is in no way to replace Deklyn or even to ease the pain of losing Deklyn... but I still felt some guilt like maybe I shouldn't be so happy and a piece of me wishes I could talk to Deklyn and know that he knows he isn't being replaced.. but of course I know that Deklyn is just as happy as us and I'm sure he is just so excited to have a little brother and must be telling everyone in Heaven about him. Deklyn not being with us will never get easier, and actually having this little guy here has made me miss him even more but like always I know he wouldn't want to come back even if he had the choice and I'm so glad I have the promise of seeing him again and we'll all be together.

Well, thats all I'll share for now but I'll leave you with some photos!

Here he is, Flynn Hudson Grant Sawatzky born on September 1st at 11:47am, 7 pounds 1 oz and 20 inches long.