Happy Valentines Day!

This last week has been a complete roller coaster! Mainly for the fact that Sheridan has gone back to work and it has just been hard adjusting to not having him here all the time. Its almost like reality hit when I had to be here all alone, it was much easier to handle when we were together. Just knowing family is farther away than normal, and not being able to see them just whenever I want can be overwhelming if I think about it too much. I'm sure it will just take some getting used too and it will be just fine!

Today was probably one of the most stressful days of my life! We have been waiting for at least 2 weeks now for Deklyn to get a new respirator tube put in. Of course it has risks like losing his air way and that can obviously be quite serious, so I've been kinda anxious for it to happen, but I've also been so excited for it because the new tube means he can do more and the tube he has in right now is too small for him so it's been creating some issues! They want to put this tube in through his nose rather than mouth, so he'll be able to use his mouth to suck on a soother and its more stable so he could go in a baby swing, and have a real bath! I haven't been able to hold him for awhile because this tube is so unstable they want to wait for his new one till I hold him again.

So yes, I have been waiting for this new tube to be put in! They've said a few times that it would happen and it didn't, but today it was really supposed! Sheridan even got the day off so he could come and be there for it. We waited till it was done to go back and see him and when we did, a doctor came and told us they cancelled it AGAIN! It was for good reason, they want to have an IV in just in case something would go wrong and they needed to give him drugs they had IV access but they weren't able to get one in him. But my heart just sank when he said that.. I was so excited to see him do normal baby things and now it kinda feels like it just keeps being pushed farther and farther away. You never know really how hard it is to not be able to hold your baby, give your baby an actual bath, watch him lay in a swing or bouncy chair, feed him, even change his diaper until you actually can't! Before I had Deklyn, and was just thinking about having kids I didn't really realize that those things can actually be a real blessing to be able to do with your child.

I am constantly reminded that I shouldn't complain though, my baby is here, alive and doing wonderfully! I have got to do so many things that I didn't think I would get to do yet! I know its just a short wait and I will get to do all the things I wish to do. The other day Sheridan and I actually watched a movie with Deklyn! Of course he was only awake and watching for maybe 15 minutes of it but it was just so fun to do something that we would be doing if we were at home. And the nurses here are just so thoughtful, for Valentines Day they 'helped' Deklyn make a card for us with his foot prints in it. They really do try to make things are normal as it can possibly be!

I know I say this alot but from all 3 of us, thank you to everyone who has done absolutely anything for us! I am always overwhelmed with everyone's kindness and how thoughtful everyone can be! We are so grateful for everything! You will be blessed for being such a blessing!