Our God Is Stronger

The last little while has been a very hard time for us. Trying to decide if you should put your child through a surgery that isn't necessarily needed but might be something that makes this time that he needs to be ventilated easier has been a very hard thing for me. We have come to the decision that we think getting Deklyn trached and also getting him a g-tube will be one of the best things we can do for him right now, and I do not say that easily. Nurses, doctors, our family, friends and lots and lots of prayer have helped us come to this decision. 

I usually try to be as strong as I can, but lately, even though I know we are doing what is best for him, as doctors and other hospital staff come to talk to me about it my heart just breaks. This isn't what I wanted for my little boy and its not easy signing a paper that says you understand your child could die during this procedure. In December I had high hopes by May he'd be home, and I might not have been thinking rationally but I always want to believe the very best. But I am just happy that we have come to a decision and feel at peace with it, he's going to get to do so much more than he can with this way he's being ventilated now. It also means we are going to be able to do a lot more of his care, which is exciting but scary at the same time because we will have to learn a lot of things that I usually would't feel comfortable doing.

We've had a lot of great nurses with Deklyn and they have all been very encouraging and really helping me feel like, yes I will be able to do this. I know no matter what I would do anything for my little boy. I think the hardest part for me after the surgery will be to come and see him with these tubes going inside him. But I know just like its always been, it'll just take awhile and it will be something we are used to again. Those of you who are praying for us, please pray for Deklyn that the surgery will go well with no complications and he won't be in to much pain afterwards. Also for us that we will learn all things we need to and we'll have peace as he goes into surgery and seeing him after with his new, for lack of a better word 'equipment' won't be to hard for us. He will be going in for this surgery on Tuesday (May 15th).

Last but not least, I want to thank my wonderful aunt Tina for making me feel so special. She has entered me into a contest Walmart is having called Mom of the Year. There are  over 1000 moms entered already so I'd be very surprised if I was in consideration but I feel super blessed that my name would even come to mind, its very hard to feel like a mom when you really can't do the things a normal mom would and I'm sure lots of people can relate to that. You can see what my aunt entered here

http://www.momoftheyear.ca/mom/?mom_id=459 

Thanks so much for all of your support, thoughts and prayers for this Tuesday, and everyday!