Deklyn's Daddy Is My Hero

 Fathers are amazing.They have a strength that I don't think gets the proper recognition Especially in situations that are not ideal, I feel like the fathers don't get enough credit. Deklyn has the most amazing daddy I could ever pick for him. He is the strongest man I have ever met and I can't believe after all he has been through he is still so strong.

When Sheridan and I first found out something was wrong, I felt like I was in the worst situation possible. I remember sitting and looking at the doctor as he told us "Something is very wrong with your baby" I felt completely numb, I looked over at my husband who was holding my hand. He bent over closer to me and instantly said "Its going to be ok, God will heal him" now this was not my first thought. But in that moment, Sheridan changed everything. I went from complete fear, to hope. That is a man of God.

Deklyn was born, Sheridan was exhausted! He had been up for 2 whole days but he continued to take care of me and continued to speak positively into our situation. I had a c-section so I needed lots of help getting out of bed and into a wheel chair. He was with me every step of the way and took all of my complaining! Sheridan took a little over a month off of work to be with Deklyn and I, but eventually we would need money to be coming in. As the head of the home, Sheridan took this responsibility very seriously. At the time, I was feeling sorry for myself. I was the one who had to stay in the city by myself, eat by myself and sit by Deklyns bed all day long by myself. One day I was pretty sick, as I shouldn't have been with Deklyn during that time anyways I decided to go home with Sheridan for a night to get some rest. That day at home was the worst! I missed Deklyn so much and just wanted to get back. After that I tired not to complain about Sheridan having to leave because I knew that it was most likely harder on him than it was on me. He would come to Winnipeg Thursday evening and leave Sunday night. He spent Monday to Thursday all by himself, worrying about me and Deklyn.

All through Deklyn's life we were continually believing we would see healing in Deklyn. Sheridan never let me think other wise. The night before Deklyn passed away Sheridan and I both took turns holding him. It was so hard, as we both knew it was going to be soon unless something major happened. As I was holding Deklyn, tears streaming down my face Sheridan said "He can still receive his healing" what an amazing man.
The day Deklyn passed away, I was sitting on the couch in the room and Sheridan was laying beside him the big bed they had moved Deklyn to. As his heart rate slowly dropped and we realized what was happening, the nurses turned off his machines as we stood by his side. I honestly had no words, I don't think I even told him I loved him in those last minutes. But what came out of Sheridans mouth? "In Jesus name you are healed Buddy" wow... He continually amazed me, even in the moment we lost our son.

Since Deklyn has passed away, Sheridan has had to be incredible strong. Firstly he has to try and get back to regular life as quick as possible so that we can have money coming in, then he has to take care of me who misses Deklyn so much she can hardly function, and than some how he needs to take care of himself. Its hard seeing other families playing with their kids, its hard seeing our niece and nephew and wishing so badly that they could know Deklyn and play with him too... Its hard while everyone continues to go on, we are stuck. People slowly stop talking about him and move on while we don't know where to go. Its just plain hard.

I don't know what you think you would do, but for me seeing my son go through so much was very hard. I had plenty of opportunity to be negative and I did struggle with that. I know Sheridan struggled too, but as the man of the house and as a father  I can not say enough how amazing he has been. He has always put God first and in every decision we had to make he has always made me so proud.

Sheridan, you are the most amazing father. You have made me so incredibly proud. The way you played with Deklyn, the way you held him, talked to him and prayed for him. You are the most admirable father I have ever seen. I know sometimes your jokes are covering up the hurt, and that's ok. I want you to know, I know you did everything you could to help me and our little boy. You are more of a father than I have seen in anyone I know. I know sometimes you feel like you have failed and I know sometimes you are hurting more than you let on, but trust me when I say that you did not fail. You have done your job as head of the home, and no one could have done it better than you. Deklyn and I love you so incredibly much. I know that he can't wait to have his first game of paint ball with you in heaven. He's watching you as you build the car that I know you so wish he could sit in with you. I wish he could too. Please never forget that you are the most amazing father Deklyn could have and you are so incredibly loved by him and me.
Happy Fathers Day to the most deserving, incredible and amazing Daddy. You are my hero, and I know you are Deklyn's as well.